“Tell me something good,
just one good thing, just tell me
something that will get me through
the hours the days the weeks that bring
nothing of any goodness, just more
news of other things […]”
Margaret Atwood, excerpt from Paper Boat
You clock the small moments—the buds on the trees, the daffodils blooming, afternoons spent basking in the sunshine with your children. The soft breeze through open windows, the way the light thickens into shadow at the end of the day. You keep a list on your phone called Good Things. You hope that gathering these sparks of joy will ignite a flame.
This month, it doesn’t.
Sometimes the dark is just too dark, and March is notoriously windy. Sometimes every flicker sputters and dies.
I know this is not what you asked for, Margaret, but stay with me:
Sometimes the good isn’t about what lingers. Sometimes the good is that you keep looking, keep gathering, even when you know it won’t last.
Spring is hard in this part of the world. It’s messy and muddy and painfully slow. Growth is like that, I guess. Birth, too. No matter how you go about it, it splits you right open. And it’s unstoppable, this changing. Of seasons, of relationships, of government, of life. It’s maddening, and terrifying, and, as my Plum Village meditation app so helpfully points out, it’s hopeful. The snow will always fall again, but it will also always melt. Spring always comes.
Other Good Things:
Today is Transgender Day of Visibility! To celebrate, I participated in the Trans Rights Readathon. My first read was the audiobook version of A Gentleman’s Gentleman by TJ Alexander, and holy hell it was fantastic. My second read is (still not finished) is Woodworking by Emily St. James, which has so far also been a hit. Both books have really strong voices/narrators and plenty of humor. I started out the month with some Serious books that brought me down, and these two have provided much needed trans joy. I donated to Solidora and A4TE. Just now hearing about Trans Rights Readathon? No problem. You can read and donate all year round. And you could always join Being Alive Book Club.
NEW ARTWORK! The image above is the first in a new series called Spring Always Comes. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt well enough to make art, so I’m grateful. That being said, I’m moving slooooooow. Maybe I’ll have the next piece by the end of summer? Or maybe not until next spring. Which is fine. I’m learning to accept the limitations of my body (and brain). This piece by Meg Fatharly describes it better than I ever could, but yeah, having an ADHD brain and a disabled/chronically ill body is a real kick in the crotch when it comes to “productivity.”
Finally, a shoutout to what has become one of my absolute favorite Substacks: You Are Doing a Good Enough Job. Not only is Sophie Lucido Johnson’s artwork delightful, but her words are hopeful, supportive, and gentle. I always feel better after reading. You will, too.
What are your favorite Substacks? Have you read anything lately that’s given you joy? Is spring as hard for you as it is for me? Or do you live somewhere where the cherry blossoms are already bursting? (Or are you hunkering down for fall??)
Wherever you are, I hope your April is kind.
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This is wonderful, Kelley. You're reflections on the hardness of spring, and the difficulty absorbing the good things so mirrors my experience of late. Thanks for sharing!
this is so lovely, Kelley. thank you for sharing your words and gorgeous art -- wow, i love this first piece in your new series SO MUCH! -- even if goodness has been hard to find, court, see, and stay with. you are definitely part of my list of good things :)