Note to Self

A letter for Bad Body Days

I’m currently experiencing the worst pain flare I’ve had since last summer. It’s scary. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose months of my life. I don’t want to lose more of my mobility. I don’t know what to do—it seems like there aren’t any good options.

So I thought, maybe, I’d share this comic I made back in February, when things were going sort of ok: as a reminder for me, but maybe also for you.

I thought I’d also share my flare survival plan—again, for me, but also maybe you. If you’re a fellow spoonie, what would you add?

Flare Survival Plan

1. Cancel everything possible. I know you want to do the thing. DON’T DO THE THING

2. Picture yourself putting tasks that you can’t do right now on a shelf. They can wait. It will be ok.

3. Wear your softest, comfiest clothes.

4. Use all the tools at your disposal: TENS, Cefaly, hot water bottles, meditation, massage balls, lidocaine cream, neck and abdominal braces.

5. Tell someone that you aren’t doing well. If possible, ask friends and family members for emotional/physical support.

6. Take your meds. Your everyday meds, and your emergency meds.

7. Let yourself grieve, cry, feel shitty.

8. If you are physically able, take a shower. It will make you feel better. I promise.

9. If you aren’t physically able to shower, put on some deodorant and change your clothes.

10. If even that feels like too much, it’s ok. Just breathe.

11. Have a list of shows, audiobooks, or games that are comforting. Some of my favorites are:

    1. Shows: Gardener’s World, Brooklyn 99, The Good Place

    2. Audiobooks: A Gentleman’s Gentleman, Born a Crime, early David Sedaris, most any memoir by a comedian.

    3. I’m not really a video game person, but I just downloaded a few “cozy” games and will report back.

12. JUST KEEP GOING. This is the biggest, hardest one, I know. When you’re in the middle of it, you can’t see any way out. You don’t have to. All you have to do is keep breathing. You matter. The world needs you.

If you like this comic and would like a copy of it, for yourself or a friend, it will soon be available as a zine! Let me know if you’re interested, and I’ll make sure to keep you posted. Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that this comic was made in the Crucial Comix Chronic Illness club, which I love dearly and highly recommend.

*I hope it goes without saying that I’m not a medical professional and none of this constitutes medical advice. These are some of the things that work for me, is all. I’d love to hear what works for you!