Not Good, Thanks

but how are YOU?

Hello. I am not doing great. Perhaps you are not doing great, either? I think some of the reasons we aren’t doing great are probably the same, and involve the world spinning out of control, while the people who cause misery and pain and death run wild and unchecked. Maybe your body is also enflamed and exhausted, screaming and aching for rest, not behaving the way you want it to, not at all. Maybe someone you love has died. Maybe your romantic relationship is breaking apart, or your kid is struggling in school. Maybe your friendships are sputtering, or a job you once loved has turned sour, but this is America, land of the nothing-is-free (least of all healthcare), so you can’t leave. Maybe your parents are getting older, and they don’t want your help. Or maybe they need more help than you can give. These are all things I’ve heard from people lately (and/or experienced myself), and they’re just the tip of the iceberg. The ways that living causes suffering are too many to list (but I bet the German language has some very specific words for a lot of them).

The funny thing is that I made this comic about a week and a half ago, before I ran headlong into my semiannual crash. Even funnier (I guess?) is that I felt this way when things were going “well.” The truth is, sometimes I’m barely hanging on. Other times, my grip is stronger—but I’m never not dangling.

Thankfully, I think I’ve reached a stage in life where most times I’m asked this question, it’s by people who truly want to know the answer. Everything is hard and heartbreaking right now, and most of us don’t want to pretend otherwise. We recognize that pretending does nothing to honor the hardships we’re all facing, or to breakdown the systems causing those hardships. Telling the truth about where we’re at and what we’re carrying is an act of resistance. Maybe the only one some of us (me) can manage right now.

So, to all my ice creams cones on the left: I see you. I feel you. I’m here for you. Let’s melt (down) together. And for those ice cream cones on the right? I don’t understand you, but I wish you well. Hopefully next time you ask me this question, I’ll tell you the truth, and my answer will open the door for you a crack. Hopefully it will let in enough air for you to take a deep breath, and make some space for you to be where you really are.

So, Real Question: How are you?